Warning Do Not Read This Paper!

“Caution; coffee may be hot.” As if we would want it any other way. . They are the bark of a dog before its bite comes. They give us a chance to avoid a potentially dangerous situation. Yet recently warnings have become an everyday part of culture. A lion-share of today's warnings are not needed due to the fact that they are already known. A small portion of all warnings are not true. In sharp contrast, important warnings could save your life. However, when not heeded, all warnings are drowned out by the consequences they were guarding against.
On a Thunder Boom firecracker warning label it says, “WARNING – EXPLOSIVE.” When I drove over to buy these fireworks I was not thinking, “I should probably be safe and get the firecrackers that don't explode.” The stupidity of this label could only be beaten by someone who didn't know the firecracker exploded. When a manufacturer is forced to put the main function of a product as a warning it is just another credit to society's intellectual downfall. As an informed consumer I would know the main function of a product that I am considering to acquire.
Do It makes a 14 oz. container of plumber's putty. It is used as a nondrying, watertight seal wherever it is necessary. It resembles potter's clay. The first statement on the warning label is to not take internally. Only a child could possibly think it would be okay to eat plumbing putty. This warning, if it were to be effective, should have been a verbal warning give by a mature adult. However a warning of the verbal nature was not issued. Instead a written warning was given. Written warnings are usually only read by adults, not children. Yet again I am appalled that some adults have to be reminded not to eat these kinds of things.
Mom, Dad, John, and I were in a small motel near West Baden Springs for a conference. It was rather toasty in our room. Dad opened up the thermostat to cool off the room a little. Stuck inside the thermostat, by the management, was a “warning” sticker. It was a simple yellow sticker that read, “Danger High Voltage.” Dad began to chuckle as he informed us that not only was this defiantly not high voltage, but that an average thermostat carries about 1.5 Volts. For those of you who don't know, being shocked by 1.5 Volts is about the equivalent of touching either end of a double A battery. I do not have the audacity to call this a warning, rather I call it a lie. It is a lie that is meant to graft fear into us so that we won't tamper with the thermostat. The motel was not trusting enough to put a “Do not tamper with thermostat” sign and trust that they wouldn't have a problem.
All it takes is not heeding a warning once for your life to be over. Swimming in shark infested waters, eating after working with chemicals without washing your hands, losing a hand in the ball return, and opening a can of silly string with a can opener are all preventable incidents that would change or end your life forever. A simple yet effective no swimming sign could saves the lives of anyone who would have attempted to swim in the shark laden waters. On most chemical containers there is a big warning label. Part of this label tells you to wash your hands after using this chemical. If you ignore this warning you and ate after working with chemicals you could get sick or even die due to ingesting the chemical. Most everyone at some time or another has been bowling. During this wonderful experience it is most likely you were told not to stick you hand in the ball return. It is a big wheel that spins very fast and will rip your hand off. When one of my close friends was 5 years old, she was given a can of silly string. Not knowing any better and unable to read the warning, she tried to open the aerosol can with a can opener. She was stopped by her older brother before she could make any progress.
These incidents would be much more common if it were not for one thing, warnings. That is the very good reason why we are bugged by warnings of our coffee being hot and that trail mix contains nuts. If there were no warnings, society would be driven into the ground faster than a mole running from a forest fire. So I warn you now, pay attention to warnings or someday it will catch up with you.